Monday, March 05, 2007

Future Losers

Is anyone else about sick of AARP's latest ad campaign, "Future Champions", with the snot-nosed kids complaining about how broken everything supposedly is?

Question 1) "How come we can't fix social security?"

Answer) Because you are too stupid to figure out that in it's current guise (that would be the same as day one, circa 1935), it's entirely based on funding from a geometric increase in population growth (and tax payer base), which has had a huge flat-line in the entire western world for 50 years or more. In some cases, such as my generation, "Gen-X" (or previously known as the "Baby-Bust"), we are actually smaller in numbers than that of the previous generation, the Baby-Boomers. So it's easy to see that the "Dipshit President" you all keep screaming about is right when he says that funding S.S. is in serious jeopardy. EAT THAT YOU LITTLE TURD!

Oh, and when you finally pass 10-grade math (I am being generous here) and figure out how right I am about this, you can come to my house and I can teach you about all the other things which you've been indoctrinated to believe as absolute truth, i.e. "Global Warming".

Question 2) "What about pensions?"

Answer) Yea, what about them? You wouldn't know the difference if it bit you in the ass, would you? Pensions are what a PRIVATE employer sets up as a retirement fund for its employees, and YOUR SORRY ASSED ATTEMPTS AT PLEADING TO THE GOVERNMENT TO STICK ITS NOSE INTO A PRIVATE BUSINESS'S PENSION PLAN IS BEYOND LAME, AS IT'S A TACTIC OF SOCIALIST PRICKS WHO ARE ACTING LIKE SPOILED FIVE-YEAR-OLDS IN THE TOY AISLE AT WAL-MART. Quit your bitching about how you are being denied your due payout when you are working for a private company, and can leave to work for whomever, whenever you damn well please, if you don't like the pay or the standards, you sniveling brat!

Question 3) "Will we keep those promises?"

Answer) Only if we can keep the Socialists out of the government. That includes ALL of the candidates that you keep insisting are "Fiscal Conservatives" or "Left of Center" or whatever you're trying to pass off as the next coming of Jesus or some other rot, i.e. Hillary Clinton (spit).

Question 4) "Don't even get me started about health care" (Yeah, it's not a question, as phrased, but the intent is there).

Answer) Again, this "single-payer" system, or whatever you want to call it this week is a scam, and isn't anything like it is being billed. NOTHING IS FREE IN THIS WORLD AND GET OVER YOUR CHILD-LIKE FASCINATION WITH EVERYTHING BEING "FAIR" IN IT.

The overwhelming arrogance that AARP is showing here, by using kids as props, openly targeting them with the same ad, filling their little empty heads with BULLSHIT about what they are supposedly "entitled" to is more than sickening, it shows that the organization hasn't any sort of ethos at its core or in its leadership, which needs a serious flogging, if anyone is asking. I'll even volunteer.

By my math, I am another 20 years away from these political panderers sending me their welcome kit, and I'm contemplating exactly what I should scrawl across the envelope in big, black ink from my Sharpie-Sanford .44, along with "Return to sender", any thoughts? Personally, I'm leaning toward something with ED humor involved.



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Blogger Cappy said...

Yuh. Got the big welcome wagon from AARP a couple of years ago. Now their magazine is so slanted it should be in Chinese. Actually, considering how big they are into kissing terrorist ass it should be Arabic. I recently requested they stop sending it to me.

2:41 PM  
Blogger theirritablearchitect said...


Jeebus, I loved your comment.

Slanted. Chinese. ROFL. I'm remembering that one.

Glad to have you aboard.

2:53 PM  

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