Funniest thing I've read in weeks

"Newly empowered Democrats draw wrath of voters"

Headlined at Yahoo! News.


Here's the rest of the hilarity, with my comments, as noted;


By Thomas Ferraro Mon Jun 18, 8:38 AM ET

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The new Democratic-led Congress is drawing the ire of voters upset with its failure to quickly deliver on a promise to end the Iraq war. (Did the dolts think that it was going to be "solved" with a quick wave of the DemoRats magic wand sprinkled with Pixy dust or something?)

This is reflected in polls that show Congress -- plagued by partisan bickering, mostly about the war -- at one of its lowest approval ratings in a decade. Surveys find only about one in four Americans approves of it. (Not really all that surprising, is it?)

"I understand their disappointment," said Senate Democratic leader Harry Reid of Nevada. "We raised the bar too high." (Oh, jeezis fuck, this guy is delusional!)

In winning control of Congress from President George W. Bush's Republicans last November (Since when are they his?), Democrats told voters they would move swiftly to withdraw U.S. troops from Iraq. (Yes, they did, and in an outright lie, too, knowing full well that they couldn't do so.)

But they now say voters must understand they need help from Republicans to clear procedural hurdles, override presidential vetoes and force Bush to change course. (I thought the Donks were all crazy with the idea that they, and they alone, could redirect the whole "ship" on to a new course. Isn't that what they were all harping about this time last year?)

Democratic Sen. Joseph Biden of Delaware said he explained this recently to anti-war demonstrators. "'We know. We know,"' he quoted them as replying. "But we are so disappointed." (So, you suck, and it's all the Republicans' fault, is that what you are saying, you feckless piece of shit? Classic Donk speak here, blaming everyone else but himself. Whatta putz!)

Biden, seeking the 2008 Democratic presidential nomination, said: "Voters are going to be mad with us until we end the war." (Yeah, there are some of us who want the war, there are some of us who don't, and then there are some of us who think that your preening about Bush's handling of the whole thing is even more pathetic than the supposed "failings" of the "illegal war", so stick it where the sun don't shine, Joe.)

House of Representatives Speaker Nancy Pelosi said some Democrats understand "we can only do so much." (Why is that, Nancy? I thought you promised every fucking dolt in this country that they'd have "universal healthcare," and "a job for everyone," and that you could easily, "get the troops home," or something like that, all if we plebians would just hand over the reins to you? Or am I mistaken, here?)

"Others are just very unhappy. I include myself among them," Pelosi, of California, told The New York Times. (And how, precisely is this my problem, Nancy? I don't have control of your feelings or your psychological problems and predispositions. Am I suppose to lie down like a dog and capitulate to everything you want, just so that you and your moronic socialist policies can be implemented and shoved down everyone's throat?)

Republicans have increasingly voiced their own concerns. Yet most have stood by Bush -- at least for now -- and given him the votes he needed to block timetables for withdrawal. (Yawn.)

Republicans also are tweaking Democrats on other fronts, such as stalled efforts to upgrade health care and reduce the cost of college and energy. (Excuse me, but healthcare isn't anything that Congress needs to be addressing. I don't give a fuck which party is in control of that circus!)

'DO-NOTHING CONGRESS'

They are even adopting the same line Democrats once used against them, calling this "a do-nothing Congress." (Actually, that is exactly what I want them to do, nothing at all! Sit on your hands and I'll gladly pay you your salary to do absolutely jack shit. This is a much better prospect than most might think.)

"If Democrats fail to reverse course, the dynamics in the 2008 elections may shift significantly, allowing Republicans to run as the party of change ... only two years after Democrats successfully campaigned on that same theme," Senate Republican leaders told their ranks in a letter last week. (Well, not that I think the elephants did all that good of a job whilst they held the levers of power, but I can't see how this scenario is a bad thing.)

Just as it was before last year's elections, polls show most Americans believe the United States is headed in the wrong direction.

"The primary reason is war," said James Thurber of American University's Center for Congressional and Presidential Studies. (Well, Mr. Thurber, I'm glad you've taken the opportunity to exercise your license to preach to the rest of us what we are supposed to think, since you are a professor for Congressional and Presidential Studies. NOTE: What the fuck is a degree in that suppose to be for?)

But there are other reasons. "People have problems in their lives and they don't see the White House or Congress dealing with it," Thurber said. (Is the government responsible for such, ya dolt?)

A Quinnipiac University poll this month found Congress with an approval rating of just 23 percent. "People voted for change. But they don't think they got it," said Peter Brown, an assistant director of the poll. (And this isn't really a surprise, is it?)

A Gallup poll last month put Congress's approval rating at 29 percent. The number had fallen to 21 percent last December, just weeks before Republicans yielded control. (Oh, just wait, it will take another dive before the election next year.)

Still, the new polls have stung Democrats and put them on the defensive. (Yawn.)

Democrats point to the nearly daily congressional oversight hearings they have held into how Bush does business, many dealing with the war. They also note that unlike Republicans last year, they passed a federal budget plan. (Yawn, stretch, snore.)

But among Democrats' top legislative promises, just one, the first increase in the federal minimum wage in a decade, has been passed by Congress and signed into law by Bush. (And all of you should be strung up by your toenails for it too, ya filthy Commies.)

Congress recently approved another priority -- a bill to expandfederally funded embryonic stem cell research. But Democrats are not expected to be able to override a Bush veto. (Good. Not that I'm against such scientific endeavors, as I have a couple of ailments that may benefit from such research, but my problem is with the fact that this bill is about who and what gets put on the dole, via my taxes.)

On another high-stakes issue, top Senate Democrats and Republicans were struggling to pass legislation to overhaul U.S. immigration laws, despite attacks from many conservative Republicans and some liberal Democrats. (They are pissing into the wind, here, and I'm not expecting any of the stoopid fucks to actually grow a brain about this issue.)

Democrats intend to crank up pressure on Bush with votes on proposals to revoke Congress' 2002 authorization of the war, set a deadline for troop withdrawals and increase requirements for troop readiness. Republicans will likely block them. (Petulant children, one and all. Why are we still allowing this kind of crap, folks?)

"We're disappointed the war drags on with no end in sight, but realize Democratic leaders can only accomplish what they have the votes for," said Brad Woodhouse of Americans United for Change, a liberal group active in the anti-war movement. (Sounds like someone is poo-pooing the Oval Office for not playing this game by his lofty leftist ideals. Shocking. Big news for Brad on this; the world doesn't revolve around you!)

Pelosi and Reid wrote Bush last week urging him to listen to the will of people on Iraq. "Work with us," they pleaded. (Are you sure that you've got your finger on the "pulse" of "the people", there, Nancy?)

I just about died when I read the whole thing through the first time. Truly one of the most slanted bits that I've read, ever.

No wonder this whole thing is coming to an end soon.

My advice, free of charge, to anyone stupid enough to try it; Run for President and tell the American people how much they've been lied to over the years, how amoral and treacherous the Congress is and that if elected, you'd be the "Do Nothing President". It may just work.

-theirritablearchitect